


Hand of Sorrow

by DeanRykerStrom



Category: Glee, Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: AU, Anal, Angst, Blangst, Comfort, Crossover, Dubious Consent, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sebangst, Sex, Virginity, character death (NOT Seblaine), the hunger games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:56:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRykerStrom/pseuds/DeanRykerStrom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine Anderson was a Tribute from District 7 who caught the attention of prodigy from Capitol by the name of Sebastian Smythe.  When Blaine unexpectedly won the Games, little did he realize that he and Sebastian's lives would now be intertwined and that there would be sacrifices to be made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill that I did on Glee Kink Meme. It's different from most Hunger Games fic because it talks about the aftermath and it features one of the characters as someone who was from the Capitol. Please note that there's a brief mentioning of character death in this chapter, but it's not explicit. If you like this fic, please rec and review it. Also, I have a Tumblr and I'd be honored if you can follow me at rykerstrom.tumblr.com. Thank you and enjoy!

 

CHAPTER 1

Blaine had not expected that he would live through it. Nobody had expected to live through it. In fact, if there was one that was certain, it was most assuredly that the odds were _not_ expected to be ever in his favor. At the end of the day, Blaine Anderson was dispensable.

He was dispensable even in the eyes of his family.

_"It'_ _s your brother_ _'_ _s last year," his father said, his eyes hopeful about his son_ _'_ _s future. "He_ _'_ _s getting married in a few months and then he_ _'_ _ll be starting a family."_

_The unspoken words and their implications hung in the air. Cooper was important. Cooper would bring pride to the family name. Cooper was loved. Cooper was straight._

_Cooper was everything that Blaine was not._

_Of course, the likelihood of Cooper actually being chosen was very slim; due to their family being more well off than others in the district Cooper's name had only been entered the minimum of seven times, but they discussed it nonetheless. They discussed it_ every _year, but this year was especially important because it was Cooper's final Reaping, and everyone had such great plans for Cooper Anderson._

_But The Capital had its own._

_When his brother's name had rang out into the air, Blaine had felt as if his Earth had stuttered to a stop. He watched, sweat breaking out across his brow, as his brother's face had filled the screen. Terror and shock blending into one and almost rendering his brother unrecognisable._

_Blaine didn't have to search for his parents to know that somewhere their hearts were breaking. That his mother would have all but collapsed into his father's arms as she heard her nightmare confirmed. No, he didn't have to crane his neck to know that his father's jaw was tense and that the hands that held his wife shook with fear and barely contained fury. He didn't have to meet their eyes to know what it was they wanted. Needed._

_Blaine loved his brother. His brother was his ally, his best friend, his confidant. Cooper had always been there for him when no one else would stand up for him. Cooper could not die, not when he was so close to being free from all this. Cooper deserved a chance at happiness._

_On the screen he watched his brother gave a small brave smile and started forward as the crowd parted, as if a mere brush of his shoulder would contaminate them to the same fate. As the escort called Cooper's name with excitement and encouragement, Blaine watched his beloved brother, his charismatic, graceful and confident brother, stumble over his own feet, catching himself before he fell to the ground._

_Blaine knew then, without a doubt, what he had to do._

Blaine had received one of the lowest scores out of all the Tributes. That was to be expected. He didn't train for this. The most he could do was boxing, but boxing was really of no use when you were up against all types of weapons. In spite of coming from District 7, Blaine hardly had many opportunities to handle an axe. As his father put it, he was too accident-prone to handle sharp objects. Therefore, the most that he could rely on, was to make allies, use his wits, and hope that by being nice and evading people, he would get lucky. After all, it had worked for others in the past.

At the beginning, Blaine was sure that he would die on Day 1, especially considering that year's Hunger Game environment was that of a desert, the polar opposite of Blaine's hometown. For one brief moment he had thought of jumping from his podium and ending it all right there. But something had held him back. He honestly didn't know if it had been hope, or stupidity.

He remembered having wasted most of his energy running from other Tributes and trying to hide. By the end of the Day 4, he had no water, no food, and no shelter. As the cold night wore on, Blaine realized to his dismay that he might have contracted the early stage of hypothermia.

However, it seemed that not everyone had betted on Blaine getting killed. Day 4, as it turned out, was the turning point for Blaine. As he felt himself inching toward the blink of death, supplies and care packages started coming in. It started out rather ordinarily. Blaine would receive care packages with food and vitamin supplements to tide him over and help him keep his strengths.

And then, the care packages became increasingly extravagant over time. Even in the state he was in, he was confused. He lacked the popularity of the other Tributes. He wasn't an obvious contender, he wasn't the most handsome, he wasn't the most memorable. He was just Blaine Anderson of District 7. Just plain old dispensable Blaine Anderson.

By Day 7, Blaine realized that the one thing keeping him alive was that someone was betting on him. That someone actually cared whether he lived or died. Hope ignited in him and he began to play the game. He wouldn't kill. Not for them. But he got smarter. Got quicker. And by Day 9, when only five remained, he realized that he may actually get a chance to go home.

It was this day that the knife arrived. It was beautiful, exquisite even. Even novice that he was, he knew that it was of finest grade materials and craftsmanship of the highest quality available. Taking it from the leather-wrapped sheath, he had turned it over and over in his hands, letting fingers graze the sharp steel, not even flinching as it nicked at the skin.

Across the belly of the blade, it was simply engraved.

_Blaine Anderson. Victor._

From the moment that Blaine's had called out in his brother's stead, he had told himself that he would not kill anyone. He would not let The Capital use his hand to create their havoc. He would go in as himself, and he would leave as himself.

At night he watched as the faces would show in the sky, and grip that knife tighter and tell himself that it wasn't a weapon. It was a symbol. A symbol of faith. He would never be the one to put an image above him. Not even when Kurt of District 11 had appeared. Kurt of District 11, with the cerulean eyes and the kind smile. Kurt of District 11, whose eyes were now dull and whose smile was gone forever, leaving the tributes down to two. Not even then did he consider dirtying that beautiful blade with the blood of another.

Until Day 14. Until David Karofsky, a Career from District 2, had come at him with that machete and everything Blaine had ever whispered urgently to himself fled in one last effort to keep going, to keep breathing, to keep being. Until that moment.

_Blaine Anderson. Victor._

Blaine shook his head to clear his thoughts from replaying David's final moments. It was not something he wanted to recall, ever again.

Winning, as it turned out, was a gift and a curse.

Blaine had exposed his weakness the moment he had taken his brother's place. His love for his family. And The Capital had used that against him. They had came to him during the victory tour, their smiles wide and their eyes empty, and had told him that he was important. They had told him that he was needed, that he was _desired_. And it was such a small thing, wasn't it? And worth it in the end. His family would thank him, and didn't Blaine love his family? He had already came this far, what was a few steps more.

"You have to be strong," his mentor, Mercedes, had told him. "I know that it's- I know that you thought it would be over by now, we i _all/i_ thought it would be over," her eyes had darted around as if President Snow's hand could clamp down on her shoulder any moment. "But you have to be strong. For the ones you love." Her head had bowed then and her fingers touched at the gold band around her finger. "For the ones you love, Blaine."

Blaine took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. He had been sitting in this extravagant room for the past half an hour as he waited for what would be his- customer.

 _First customer._ He thought bitterly. This was it. This was going to be the rest of Blaine's life. To be someone's toy until he became too old to hold anyone's interests. Winning in the Hunger Game was no victory, it was a different kind of death sentence altogether. Blaine Anderson was no victor.

Blaine heard the heavy wooden doors opening but remained where he was. He really did not want to know or meet the person who was about to buy him. Blaine saw a pair of feet before him, dressed in what he could perceive as very expensive pair of shoes.

Finally, Blaine looked up and was greeted by the most radiant pair of sea-green eyes he had ever seen.

"I'm Sebastian Smythe," Sebastian extended out a hand. "And you're Blaine Anderson. Victor."

(TBC)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are tracking this on GKM, please note that the chapters that I'm posting on Tumblr and AO3 are the revised versions so it'll be updated and different from GKM. This chapter features Seblaine's first time and will contain dubcon element as well as angst. If you enjoy this chapter, please rec and review it. Also, I have a Tumblr where I post Seblaine drabbles and fan arts that are not posted on this site. I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom. tumblr . com". Thank you!

_Blaine Anderson. Victor._

Those words echoed in Blaine's mind. Just like that, everything clicked into place. The food, the vitamins, and the knife; everything that was provided for him through the treacherous journey all came down to this. To him.

"When someone reaches out with his hand, you're supposed to shake it," said Sebastian, grabbing Blaine's hand and doing just that. His palm cool against the heat of Blaine's, and the fingers fluttered gently over the Blaine's knuckles.

"I—I'm sorry." Blaine looked down at where their hands were still linked together, wondering if it would make any difference whether he withdrew his hand from Sebastian's grip.

"I know you're not much of a talker, but this is laconic even for you." Sebastian sat down next to Blaine, his proximity a little too close for Blaine's comfort. "I think it's only fair that we get to know each other a little more, don't you think?"

"What do you want to know about me?" Blaine looked away. He didn't know which was worse; Sebastian getting straight to the point and doing the deed or making an attempt at small talk before proceeding to the inevitable. The outcome would be the same anyway, so why would it matter?

"I know about your family." Blaine tried to ignore the fingers that were tracing a trail up his thigh. "But I want to know _you_. What are your hobbies?"

"Music."

"This isn't twenty questions." Those fingers were now drawing lazy circles. "Trust me when I say that it'll be in your best interest to be a bit more engaging."

Blaine wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Why would someone like Sebastian – a customer – take a personal interest in him? But if it would humor Sebastian to do as he was told, then Blaine would do it.

Anything for his family.

"I sing, and I play musical instruments." Blaine's hands curled into fists to keep himself from recoiling at the touch. "I … a little bit of piano and violin."

"That's much better." Sebastian smiled. "You know you're allowed to ask me questions too."

Allowed? Blaine wanted to contest the choice of words. So now he had to be "allowed" to do things? Was that what Blaine was now? Being the victor was simply another euphemism for enslavement. Under all the glam and glory, there were only hollowness, pain and guilt. Blaine noted that Sebastian's smile seemed almost genuine, but nothing about the people in the Capitol could be genuine.

"Why?" Blaine had no interest in learning about Sebastian. The Capitol might have his body, but they would never take away his spirit. Blaine would not play this game; he was determined to keep his dignity intact.

"Why what?"

"Why … me?" Blaine's voice came out so low that he wasn't sure whether Sebastian had heard him.

"You're different, Blaine Anderson." Blaine looked up and met Sebastian's eyes. "You didn't have to sacrifice yourself, but you did. You could've killed several of the Tributes, but you didn't. You could've refused – this."

Sebastian closed the distance between them, pressing his lips into Blaine's. Blaine froze at the contact and shut his eyes reflexively. He could feel Sebastian alternating between kissing and nibbling lightly at his lips. Blaine's mouth opened in a gasp at the unexpected probing of a tongue. It took a few moments for Blaine to realize that Sebastian had wrapped one arm around his waist while his other hand had reached up and cupped Blaine's face gently as he pulled away.

"But you didn't refuse this, either." There was an unreadable look in Sebastian's eyes, something that Blaine couldn't put his finger on. Sebastian closed the distance between them again. "You're compassionate, altruistic, innocent, and kind." Sebastian said as he emphasized each quality he had listed with a kiss.

It was surreal hearing them. Words of praise had always been reserved for his brother, just as the intense looks that Blaine was receiving now had never been for him. With not a small sense of shame Blaine could feel his ego edging forward and taking a tender bite.

"It'd be a shame if you'd have died out there." Sebastian was kissing Blaine's neck by this point. Instinctively, Blaine put his arms up in an attempt to keep some sort of distance between them, but Sebastian grabbed his hands and kept Blaine immobilized.

Blaine closed his eyes again. Perhaps if he couldn't see, he could pretend that none of this was happening. Out of sight, out of mind. Surely there must be some merit to this phrase.

Blaine's eyes snapped open again when he felt a firm tug. Sebastian had stood up and was motioning for Blaine to do the same. Blaine let himself be led through the wooden doors and into the bedroom, fighting against every instinct in his body screaming to either pull away or stay where he was. But it would be the death sentence for his family if he didn't follow this through.

 _It's a small price to pay._ But why didn't he feel comforted?

Sebastian pushed Blaine gently onto the bed, his hands reaching for the hem of Blaine's shirt before tugging it up and over Blaine's head; and then those very same hands were working to undo his pants, stripping Blaine naked for Sebastian Smythe to see, to enjoy, and to use.

"Beautiful." He heard. Right now, Blaine didn't want to be beautiful. He didn't even want to be compassionate, altruistic, innocent or kind. If these were the qualities that got him here, it would've been best if he had stepped off the podium and let the explosion shatter him into a thousand pieces.

Keeping his gaze elsewhere, Blaine averted any eye contact with Sebastian when he heard the rustling of clothing as Sebastian removed his own clothes. Blaine was relieved that Sebastian didn't require his participation, because he wasn't sure if he could do that right now without falling apart. The urge to cry was overwhelming. Blaine had to clench his fists so tightly that his finger nails were making angry half-moons in his palms.

Blaine Anderson would not cry over this; he could not let himself cry over this.

Every kiss, every stroke, every touch and every sensation was like a branding iron, burning marks and impression into Blaine's body. He wanted to ignore these unwelcomed touches, but he couldn't. The harder Blaine pretended it wasn't happening, the more he could feel. Blaine wished that he could swallow these wretched gasps that escaped his mouth.

His own body was betraying him in the worst way possible. Blaine knew that he should not find any of this pleasurable.

But a small moan escaped Blaine's mouth when Sebastian flicked his tongue against one of his nipples. Blaine turned his head away; he would not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him like this. Sebastian, however, apparently had other ideas because the next thing Blaine knew, Sebastian's hand was gripping his chin firmly as he turned Blaine's head toward him.

"Open your eyes, Blaine." It was a command, not a request. And what choice did Blaine really have in this matter except to comply?

Sebastian kissed him again. The kiss was slow, soft, tender, and loving. And it was all wrong. Blaine wished that it had been forceful, rough, and bruising; he wished that it had been anything but this twisted version of what romance and love should've been like.

Blaine kept his eyes open as Sebastian broke away from the kiss to reach for something on the nightstand. They stayed open as Sebastian coated his fingers with lubricant and prepared him. Blaine's eyes were opened through it all.

It was at moments like these that Blaine found himself warring against himself. Perhaps he should be grateful. Sebastian saved his life. Without the care packages, there would've certainly been no future for Blaine Anderson and he was certain that his brother would've been devastated.

Sebastian Smythe made Blaine Anderson into a victor. Without Sebastian, Blaine would've ceased to exist.

So perhaps, Blaine should count himself fortunate. Things could've been worse. It could've been someone else on top of Blaine right now, and that someone else might not have been as gentle. That someone else might've been rougher or crueler.

But at the end, it didn't matter. It was not what Blaine wanted.

"Tell me, Blaine," Sebastian's voice brought him back to reality. Blaine could feel shame coursing through him as he realized that he was hard from Sebastian's ministration. "Is there anyone in your life?"

"No."

"Has there ever been anyone?" Sebastian parted Blaine's legs and settled between them. The question really shouldn't have bothered Blaine as much as it did, but the realization that he couldn't give this part of himself to someone he loved, and that love might never even be an option for him, was enough to bring him on the verge of tears.

"No." Blaine hated the tremor in his voice.

"Good." Sebastian wrapped Blaine's legs around his waist and started to press in.

It took every ounce of will power in Blaine's body to not push Sebastian off him. The pain, while bearable, could not be ignored. No amount of preparations could've made it easier. Blaine heard a broken cry and it took him a few moments to recognize that it came from his throat. Instead of recoiling from Sebastian, Blaine settled for fisting his hands into the sheets as he tried to will the discomfort away.

"Shhhh … it's okay," Sebastian whispered into his ear. "Just relax."

There was no way Blaine could relax. His body clenched down instinctively at the unwanted intrusion, and the very act of doing so only brought on another stab of pain up his spine. Blaine bit down hard on his lower lip until he could taste blood. He wanted this to end.

Sebastian pushed in slowly, only stopping when he was buried to the hilt. Blaine could feel tears prickled in the back of his eyes, threatening to overflow any moment. Above him, Sebastian was placing kisses along his neck and shoulder, sucking lightly every now and then.

 _He's marking me._ The very thought only served to once again remind Blaine of the hopelessness of his situation.

Sebastian had resumed his movement as he pulled out in a painfully slow manner and pushed back in just as slowly. Blaine could feel every stretch and burn of it. With force behind the movement increased with every thrust, the bed rocked violently as the motion became rougher. Sebastian was kissing him again, this time on his face, lips, and eyes. Blaine noted the wetness on his face and realized that those were tears. Blaine had never hated himself more than at that moment.

A groan worked its way past his lips before Blaine had a chance to swallow it. Sebastian had wrapped his hand around Blaine's cock and was pumping him in time with the thrusts. Sebastian shifted the angle of his thrusts at some point and now the pain was mixed with an indescribable pleasure. It was all too much. With every moan that Blaine was trying to suppress, there were many more that escaped from his lips. It only took a few more thrusts for Blaine to come undone as he spilled into Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian hooked Blaine's legs over his shoulder and pounded into Blaine with unrelenting force as he brought himself to completion. The orgasm had left Blaine raw and sensitive, and soon he could feel the pain returning. He gasped and whimpered softly as Sebastian moved inside him, clutching at Sebastian's shoulder as he tried to find something to hold onto. And then suddenly, Sebastian was crushing his lips to Blaine's, as though he was trying to devour him. Above him, Sebastian had gone still as Blaine felt something warm and foreign spilling into him.

Sebastian stayed on top of Blaine for a few minutes to catch his breath as he rested his forehead against Blaine's. The gesture itself would've been intimate had it been under different circumstances. Sebastian pulled out of Blaine gently, but even then, Blaine couldn't help but winced at the raw pain.

The mattress shifted and dipped when Sebastian lied down beside Blaine, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close.

"I'll take care of you," Sebastian planted a kiss on the back of Blaine's neck. "I promise."

The last thought that drifted across Blaine's mind was that he didn't believe in promises anymore. After all, promises were empty when there was no hope.

(TBC)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! I'm back from my holiday hiatus and I thought what better way to kick start this New Year than to post the next chapter of "Hand of Sorrow"? In the last chapter, Blaine found out Sebastian was the sponsor who had kept him alive and lost his virginity to Sebastian shortly after. This chapter will pick up where the last chapter left off. Please note that just like Ch 2, this chapter also has dub-con elements and angst. If you enjoy this, please review and rec it. Also, I have a Tumblr where I post my Seblaine drabbles and fan arts that are not posted on this site. I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks.

_A low buzzing sound emanated all around him as he rose to ground level. He saw sunlight streaming through the tiny opening and he had to squint his eyes at the brightness as he was transported to above ground. Blaine heard the podium beneath him clicked into place._ The arena _._

 _Around him were familiar faces in various stages of youth._ Children _._ _Names came to him and then slipped away._

10, 9, 8

_His fingers clutched tight in his palm, nails raking into his skin. He twitched._

_Another chance, he realized, he had another chance. Looking down at his feet, he saw his left foot move out in front of him. And off the podium._

6, 5, 4

_Somewhere near him a voice called his name. It sounded a little like Kurt._

3, 2, 1

_Blaine jumped._

* * *

And woke with a gasp. He could still hear his heart pounding rapidly against his chest. For a moment, Blaine was lost. Everything seemed foreign to him, and then his eyes fell on the sleeping face that was inches away from his own.

_Sebastian Smythe._

The man who kept Blaine alive during the Hunger Game, the man to whom Blaine had sold his body.

It was strange to see Sebastian this way. The man looked so harmless and peaceful when he was sleeping. Now that Blaine had an opportunity to study Sebastian, he had to reluctantly admit that the man was gorgeous. While it was not unheard of for the residents of the Capitol to undergo plastic surgeries, there didn't seem to be anything artificial about the way Sebastian looked. From the high cheekbones to the deep set eyes, the eyebrows with the natural arch to the straight nose and the strong angular jaw, and the tiny moles that Blaine could now see scattered on different parts of Sebastian's body. These were natural imperfections that somehow didn't take away from the way the man's features.

Not to mention that these imperfections somehow made Sebastian looked human.

Blaine never thought of the inhabitants of the Capitol as human before. The superficiality and the artificiality of things here suggested that nothing was genuine. Blaine wouldn't be surprised if some of these people didn't even possess a real heart. After all, no human beings with a heart would've enjoyed watching innocent children slaughtering one another on live television while glorifying such a barbaric practice as a celebration and feast of some sort.

Regardless of how Sebastian appeared to Blaine, it still didn't change the fact that this man bought Blaine; and that based on the terms that were agreed upon, Sebastian technically had Blaine's time for at least the next several months.

_This isn_ _'_ _t a nightmare. I really am trapped._

For the rest of his life, or at least until he became too old to be desirable, this would be how he would live. Blaine would be at the mercy of whatever that took an interest in him, and some of them might be worse than Sebastian Smythe.

There was a stinging sensation in the back of Blaine's eyes as tears threatened to flow again. He blinked them away and swallowed the lump that was starting to form in his throat. No, he wouldn't cry again. What was done couldn't be undone, all Blaine could do was to move on and deal with this the best way he could manage.

As quietly as possible, Blaine shifted carefully from where he was so that he turned away from Sebastian. Even from where he was lying, Blaine could tell that it was getting late by the fact that the lights in the room had been turned on. Everything in the Capitol was about technology, luxury, and artificiality. It was nothing like his lush, green hometown of District 7.

Blaine missed his parents, his brother, and his friends. He missed the beautiful forest with its green leaves that would turn into brilliant shades of red and gold in autumn. He missed the refreshing scent of nature.

Blaine missed home.

The sound of movement behind Blaine made him freeze. He prayed that it was just Sebastian shifting in his sleep. He was not ready to deal with Sebastian again yet. Blaine just wanted to close his eyes, fall asleep again and wake up in his own bed to find that this was all just a nightmare.

The touch of fingertips on his back almost made Blaine jump. Sebastian was most definitely awake. Blaine could feel the fingers brushing lightly on his back before moving to his shoulder blades. They trailed halfway down his spine before moving to his side and stopped at Blaine's hip bone. Blaine tried to keep his breathing even as Sebastian's hand rested on his hip. The feeling of not knowing what Sebastian was going to do next set Blaine on edge.

Blaine let out a small yelp when Sebastian wrapped his arm around Blaine's middle and pulled him flush against him.

"I know you're awake." Blaine could feel hot breath against his neck.

Blaine stayed motionless; not knowing what was expected of him. Was he in trouble now? He could feel Sebastian kissing along the column of his throat, sucking at the juncture of his neck and shoulder while one of his hands wandered down Blaine's chest. Blaine let out a small gasp as a hand brushed against his nipple, circling it and pinching it lightly.

"God, you smell so good, like pine cones and mint." Sebastian's voice was low and a little hoarse from sleep. Blaine's eyes fluttered shut at the sensations that were threatening to overwhelm him. Blaine knew that his face must be beet red by this point, and it was humiliating to know that Sebastian was making him feel this way.

Blaine heard Sebastian shifting behind him, and then Sebastian's hand was gone. Instead, he felt the presence of someone above him. Blaine opened his eyes to see that Sebastian was leaning above him, his eyes dark with lust. Blaine tensed up when something hard pressed against his thigh. The knowledge of what would most likely happen next made Blaine wanted to recoil in horror.

But he couldn't. It wasn't an option.

"You really are beautiful." Sebastian leaned down to place a soft kiss on Blaine's forehead. "You have no idea what you do to me, Blaine."

Blaine clenched his fists when he heard the dreaded pop of a cap opening. He bit down on the inside of his mouth when he felt those fingers probing at him. Blaine was still sore from the last time; it just felt too soon, too raw. Blaine couldn't stop a small whimper from escaping when they brushed against his prostate. It felt wrong, to feel good when the rest of his body was screaming for this to stop. For his body to betray just like everything else.

He was about to turn onto his back when Sebastian stopped him.

"Stay on your side."

Another finger was added. Breathless gasps fell from Blaine's lips and he pushed backwards, fucking himself on Sebastian's hand. His body took over and _want_ replaced _shame_. When those fingers were finally gone, Blaine found himself trembling. Whether it was from anticipation or dread, he could scarcely tell.

Sebastian reached for his leg and lifted it away from Blaine's body, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he slid into him in one quick stroke, burying himself inside of Blaine completely, and grunting as his chest moved against Blaine's back roughly.

More kisses followed, each one more tender than the last. So loving that Blaine could almost pretend that this was their life, that this was _real_ and not bought and paid for. And for the moment, that was what Blaine would do to make himself believe if it made all this easier.

Blaine turned his head to receive Sebastian's kisses, feeling Sebastian's lips moving against his own. Sebastian picked up his pace, thrusting harder and faster into Blaine as the kisses became more heated and urgent. Blaine threw his head back as he tried to stifle a moan when Sebastian wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking Blaine in time with the thrusts, intending to bring them both to completion.

"So beautiful, so perfect." Sebastian was whispering those words into Blaine's ears. Sebastian's pace was getting erratic now and Blaine knew he was getting close. As much as he hated what they were doing, he was ashamed to note that the pleasure was too great for him to ignore. Sebastian was hitting his prostate again and then he was coming, his vision whiting out as Sebastian brought him to climax for the second time.

Blaine wasn't sure how long he was out, but it must have been for a few moments. Because when he became aware of his surroundings again, Sebastian had a robe on and was sitting next to him. A soft cool cotton pressed against him as Sebastian cleaned his skin, gently, almost reverently.

The feeling of shame was back and Blaine could feel heat creeping up his face. It was one thing to pretend that what he was doing was with someone he loved, but he really shouldn't have enjoyed it the way he did. Not only had Blaine enjoyed this, he had reacted to it like a whore. All it took was having sex with Sebastian twice and Blaine had already lost his dignity.

"Blaine?" Sebastian's voice brought Blaine back to reality.

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbled. "What did you say?"

"I asked you when was the last time you saw your family?"

"Not since I came here."

"Which means you didn't really get any time with your family ever since the Victory Tour." Blaine was somewhat surprised at how well Sebastian seemed to know what went on behind the scenes with the Tributes. But then again, Sebastian was a man with great connections; he probably knew a lot more things than he was letting on. "Why don't you invite them to come visit you?"

The question shouldn't hurt as much as it did, but it reminded Blaine of his place within his family. His parents would never want to leave their business unattended. And Cooper- Cooper probably had a family to care for now.

"Or better yet, why don't you go home for a few weeks?" Sebastian threw the towel into the laundry basket in the corner.

"But-" It wasn't that easy to go home. His movement was monitored by the Capitol, special permission had to be given. And as far as Blaine's freedom was concerned, he was pretty much Sebastian Smythe's property for the next few months.

"I'll get you the paperwork to go home."

"You will?" Blaine wasn't sure if he heard it correctly. It sounded too good to be true, but Sebastian did look sincere.

"It wouldn't be much trouble." Sebastian got up from the bed and shrugged off his robe before walking to the closet. Blaine averted his eyes at the sight and took this opportunity to pull the cover over himself. He could hear Sebastian putting on his clothes. "I'm sure your brother would be happy to see you. His name is Cooper, right?"

"Yes." Part of Blaine felt grateful at the gesture, but another part of him wondered if the mentioning of his brother's name was an implied threat of some sort. Blaine looked up when he saw Sebastian standing before him with a bundle of folded clothes in his hands.

"We don't have time for a bath." Sebastian handed Blaine the clothes. "Put these on, I have an appointment that we can't miss."

It was strange to see Sebastian's demeanor changing so quickly. One moment he was almost caring, and now he was commanding. Blaine took the clothes that were given to him. If that was what Sebastian wanted, who was Blaine to say no?

"And Blaine?"

"Yes?" The tone in Sebastian's voice made him look up.

"I always keep my promises. You have my word."

(TBC)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support on this fic. The plan is to update this once a week but since I haven't had a chance to do many seblaine one-shots lately, I decided to post this early. In the last chapter, Sebastian hinted at the possibility of Blaine going home to visit his family before informing him that there was an event they must attend. In this chapter, we'll get a more in-depth look into Sebastian's character. Please note that there's a flashback of the death of a character and the mentioning of death of another character (NOT Seblaine). If you enjoyed this, please review and rec it. Also, I have a Tumblr where I post my Seblaine drabbles and fan arts that are not posted here. I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks!

It was a somewhat awkward and embarrassing ordeal for Blaine to put on the clothes. He was still sore and aching everywhere. His muscles screamed in protest when Blaine raised his arms the wrong way, and every time he had to reach or lean over for something, a sharp pain would shoot up his spine, reminding him of the activities that he had recently engaged in.

Another wince escaped from Blaine's lips before he had a chance to stop it. He was trying to bend down to reach for his shoes but no matter what he did, it hurt.

"Sit." Sebastian put his hand on Blaine's shoulder and crouched down.

Blaine watched as Sebastian reached for his shoes and slipped them onto Blaine's feet. Silence hung in the air as Sebastian tied up the shoe laces, one shoe at a time. It was an odd sight to behold. It felt domesticated, normal even. But there was nothing normal about the situation Blaine was in, he bitterly reminded himself.

Sebastian poured a small amount of hair product onto his hand and carded his fingers through Blaine's hair. The strangely tender gesture reminded Blaine of his childhood; when his mother would dote on him and make him look presentable before a big family gathering. _Or The Reaping._ Blaine pushed the thought of his childhood away, refusing to let his happier memories be tainted by the reality of his current situation.

"Let's go, we're running late." Sebastian gripped Blaine's arm gently but firmly and pulled him up. Sebastian grabbed his coat and a jacket that Blaine surmised must be his. Blaine didn't even bother taking a good look at himself when he walked past the giant mirror in the hallway. He was certain that he would hate the person that was staring back at him.

* * *

While the Capital during the day could best be described as majestic and extravagant, the Capital at night was downright gaudy and ostentatious. The windows of the limousine that they were riding in were tinted, but it did little to help tone down the harsh, colorful lights that were pulsating away from all the buildings. Blaine wondered if the residents of Capital had their eyes genetically altered in order to tolerate this kind of brightness.

"I have to admit, it's a bit much." Sebastian gestured at what was outside. "It's one of the reasons I have my windows tinted."

Blaine wondered what the other reasons were and found himself blushing at the thought.

"Champagne?" Sebastian held out a glass to Blaine. Blaine had this drink once before, during the training time for the Games; but he wasn't really a fan of it. Nonetheless, he nodded and held out his glass while Sebastian filled it up.

"Thank you."

"You'll probably need more than Champagne later, I know I would." Blaine wasn't sure what Sebastian meant by that, but he did notice that the man didn't seem thrilled about the appointment they were attending.

The limousine made a turn and pulled into a long driveway, stopping at the entrance of a large mansion. While Blaine couldn't hear what was going on inside, the bright lights and decorations indicated that they were most likely attending a rather extravagant party. Blaine felt his stomach sinking with dread.

He hated parties and large social gatherings.

While he had been to gatherings in the past, they were family gatherings. Even then, Blaine always felt out of place. Each time he went to these gatherings, it was guaranteed that he would get a scolding from his parents afterwards about how he could've done better and presented himself better. Social gatherings reminded Blaine of his failure in life.

In this case, social gatherings in the Capitol would probably be twice as bad, considering Blaine knew no one there and hadn't the slightest clue how to act. Plus, unlike the meager affairs in his District, this would be on a much grander scale. It would be like throwing a lamb into the lion's den.

"Come on." Sebastian gestured for Blaine to step out first. "Let's get this over and done with."

_Into the lion_ _'_ _s den I go, maybe they_ _'_ _ll slaughter me and end all this._

* * *

Parties within the Capitol, Blaine decided, were things that nightmares were made of. Aside from the seizure-inducing flashes of lights that seemed to blink away endlessly, the exaggerated wardrobes worn by the party attendees, and the ghoulish features some of these attendees spotted as a result of their plastic surgeries were enough to give Blaine a headache. It was as though Blaine was in a never-ending freak show with no exit signs.

Sebastian was introducing him to various people in the parties, but it was hard to keep track of them what with their ridiculous names and titles. Blaine felt like an animal on display. He didn't belong here. He didn't dress like the rest of them, he didn't look like the rest of them, and he certainly did not think like the rest of them.

"President Snow wants to see me." Sebastian gave Blaine a pat on the back. "I'll be right back."

Blaine stared after Sebastian's retreating figure, suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed. Where was he supposed to go now? Should he go sit in a corner somewhere and avoid everyone? Or was he supposed to stay put and be social?

"Oh, you look familiar. You're that Blaine Anderson from this year's games." A shrill, but nasally, voice cut through the music.

Blaine looked up and saw a couple standing before him. It was very difficult to not stare at the woman's face with morbid fascination. She was a prime example of plastic surgery poster child. Her face had been transformed into something that resembled a cross between a leopard and a fox, decorated with body paint and artistic embroidery that seemed to glow in the dark.

It was terrifying.

"Yes, I am." Being polite was the only way in this situation, although Blaine wondered what they could possibly talk about when there surely would be nothing in common amongst them.

"I'm Galileo and this is my wife Venus." The man shook Blaine's hand. Blaine had to resist the urge to pull his hand away when he felt the scale-like skin next to his; it would appear that this man was a fan of plastic surgeries as well.

"So tell me, Blaine, what was it like to be in the Hunger Games?" Venus rubbed her hands together in excitement and flashed Blaine what she perceived to be a charming grin.

"I—uh."

"You had to kill that kid from District 1, didn't you? What's his name again?" Galileo frowned as he tried to remember. "I swear, after a while they all seem the same."

"Dave, Dave Karofsky. That's his name, honey." Venus seemed proud of her memory. "Oh, yes. The camera angle was all off, we couldn't see much. I want all the juicy details, dearie."

_Blood, so much blood. Blood gushing out of the wound, over the blade and onto his hands. The look in Dave_ _'_ _s eyes as he stared at Blaine in disbelief, shock, and disgust. The look on Dave_ _'_ _s face as it contorted into expression of anger, pain and finally death._

Blaine tried to push the memories away.

"If I remember correctly, I think that kid came at him with a machete." Another voice rang out from behind Blaine. Apparently others had noticed that the most recent Hunger Game victor was amongst their midst. "I agree, the camera angle was shit. We didn't get to see all the blood gushing out."

It was becoming hard for Blaine to breath.

"My cousin works at the medical examiner's office for the Game." A fourth voice cut through the chatter. "He said Blaine got him good. Like one slash in the stomach. Like, intestines falling out and stuff."

"Oh, that's wonderful." Venus's voice piped up again. "Honey, are you okay? You're looking a little pale."

"I think our victor just needs a drink." Galileo snapped his fingers at a waiter. "Bring our victor a Whiskey!"

A drink was shoved in front of Blaine's face and he had no choice but to drink it, grimacing at the burning liquid as it went down his throat.

"Now, son." A heavy hand clamped down on Blaine's shoulder. "We want the details."

_Blaine knew he was being followed but whenever he looked behind him, he could never see anyone. It was down to Dave and him now. Blaine didn_ _'_ _t want to die, but he didn_ _'_ _t want to kill anyone either. If only there was some way to do this, perhaps he could continue hiding and hope that he outlasts his opponent. Blaine_ _'_ _s hand reached inside his backpack, feeling the leather sheath that held his knife._

_He wasn_ _'_ _t sure what made him turn around, but he did. Just in time to see Dave coming at him with a large machete. The Career had a crazed look in his eyes and he looked worse for wear. Kurt must had put up quite a fight if Dave looked this beaten. Nonetheless, the Career was fast and strong. Blaine tripped over his own feet as he tried to get out of the way and avoid the machete that was aiming for his throat._

_Dave crashed into him and they went down together onto the burning desert sand._

_It became a battle of strength, one that Blaine was quickly losing. The machete was out of Dave_ _'_ _s reach so he settled for closing his fingers around Blaine_ _'_ _s throat, trying to suffocate him. Blaine fought with all his might, kicking, clawing, anything that he could do to pry those fingers away from his throat. Dave gave a pained grunt when Blaine managed to knee him in the groin. He rolled away from Dave, coughing and gasping for air. Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine saw Dave scrambling and reaching for his machete._

_Dave lunged at Blaine, the machete raising high in the air, ready to strike down. No, he couldn_ _'_ _t die yet. Blaine Anderson couldn_ _'_ _t die; he needed to live, to keep going. He needed to go home. Blaine felt his hand closed around a metal handle and he pulled the knife out of his backpack and slashed blindly. Anything to deter Dave, to incapacitate him and slow him down so that Blaine could escape._

_He hadn_ _'_ _t meant to kill Dave. He didn_ _'_ _t even realize his knife had made its mark until he felt the warm liquid pouring over his hand._

_Blaine Anderson was a murderer._

"I—I'm sorry, I don't remember." Blaine shook his head. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Don't be such a spoil sport." One of the people in the crowd nudged at him, Blaine flinched. "You killed the Career, how can you not remember?"

"The camera angle was appalling, but we did get to see his hands covered in blood." Venus pointed out, wanting to be in the center of attention again. "That was a marvelous sight, wasn't it? It was really artistic."

Blaine was going to be sick.

"What do you think of that kid from District 11? I think Kurt's his name." An unfamiliar voice asked him. "I have to say that after his cute little interview, I really thought you two would be-," he waggled his brows "-forming an alliance." The crowd laughed and Blaine's face grew hot.

Kurt, the kind boy who didn't want to be in the Hunger Game; Kurt, the boy with whom Blaine had made a pact to not kill anyone during the Game. A pact that Blaine had broken.

"Do you know how that poor boy died?"

Blaine knew how Kurt died, he learned all about it during the Victory Tour. He wanted to remember Kurt as the smiling, friendly person that he was.

"I think that Dave kid slit his throat." There were murmurs of agreement. "But that was the best battle in the entire game. We didn't think Kurt had it in him to put up that kind of a fight."

It was becoming difficult to breath. It was like the entire room was folding and closing in. It was smothering him. He had to get out of here.

"I think he's looking a little blue." Blaine heard someone said. He wasn't sure when had a small crowd gathered around him, but this was his worst nightmare coming true. To force him to relive the worst moments of the Game, and to be questioned and stared at like an animal. "It's a bit ridiculous considering this kid survived the Game."

"I want all the gory details!" Venus was sounding agitated. "Can't you at least tell us how it feels to have blood on your hands?"

_Pulsating, crimson blood. Dave_ _'_ _s accusing eyes as life slowly left him._

"I—I can't." Blaine choked out. "I'm sorry. Excuse me!"

Blaine backed away from the crowd and ran. He wasn't sure where he was going; he just needed to get away from all those people right now. He couldn't handle this. This was so much worse than his family gatherings; this was him being cross-examined for his loss of humanity. This was Blaine Anderson being labeled as a murderer.

Blaine threw the door to one of the rooms open and slammed it shut behind him. He stumbled and collapsed onto one of the sofas, panting and gasping for air. The room was spinning around him, nothing made sense to him. He just wanted all this to end. Blaine buried his face in his hands, hating every moment of this. He would rather be in Sebastian's bed and let the man do whatever he wanted with him than to face i _this/i_.

Blaine heard the door opening and closing beside him. He looked up warily and saw a familiar figure standing by the door.

Sebastian Smythe.

"What the hell happened out there?"

"I—I don't –"

"You caused a bit of a commotion outside." The frustration was evident in Sebastian's voice. "I expect you to know how to handle yourself properly in these functions. Why bother coming if you can't even do this one simple thing?"

"It was your idea to come." Blaine's eyes widened in surprise when he realized what he had said aloud.

"Do you think I enjoy these functions?" Blaine could tell Sebastian was holding his temper in check. "I'm only here because having a network of allies is what will get you places. It applies to me and it applies to you."

If Allies were those twisted people like Galileo and Venus, Blaine would rather have no friends.

"Your behavior tonight cost me several business deals." Sebastian was approaching him; Blaine did not want to know what would happen next. "I had expected that someone with your background should know how to conduct yourself in these functions."

"Maybe you should get your refund then." Blaine hated how his voice would waver when he was on the edge of tears.

"What did you say?"

"I can't. I just can't." Blaine couldn't stop his body from trembling. "They kept wanting to find out about the Game. They wanted to know how I killed Dave. I—I can't!"

"They wanted to know how you killed Dave?" Sebastian echoed, a trace of disbelief and shock in his voice.

"There was so much blood. He wouldn't stop bleeding." It was getting difficult to breathe again. "His eyes. Oh god, his eyes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to kill him, I didn't- "

Blaine suddenly found himself in Sebastian's embrace.

"It's okay, it's okay," Sebastian murmured as he placed gentle kisses on Blaine's face and lips. "I didn't know."

"I didn't mean to run away. I just- " The rest of Blaine's sentence was cut off as Sebastian kissed him, deeply and gently.

Sebastian continued to kiss him as Blaine was lowered onto the sofa. Sebastian settled on top of Blaine before he resumed kissing. Blaine felt Sebastian's hands on his groin to work the button of his pants open and pull down the zipper. He gasped when Sebastian's hand reached inside and wrapped around his cock.

In spite of his distraught state, Blaine found himself getting hard again. His hands clutches onto the fabric of Sebastian's shirt as Blaine tried to stay still. It was difficult to ignore the sensations that were now coursing through his body.

Blaine knew he should feel ashamed for what was happening, but it felt too good. And after that horrifying ordeal earlier, Blaine just wanted to forget everything. If this was a distraction from all those memories, then for the time being Blaine would allow himself this one small reprieve and let himself wallowed in the shame later.

Sebastian moved his hand up and down Blaine's cock, stroking him with a gentle but firm grip. Blaine gasped into Sebastian's mouth when Sebastian brushed his thumb over the slit, smearing the pre cum over the head of his cock. Blaine couldn't help but buck his hips up at the sensation, wanting to push himself into that tight grip; and immediately cursing himself inwardly for being so wanton.

Sebastian didn't seem to mind. His hand continued its movement as he kissed Blaine's throat, sucking hard at the pulse point and leaving marks. The events that Blaine had experienced in the past twenty-four hours told him that tautness and building coil of heat in his stomach meant that he was getting close to climax. A whimper escaped from his lips as Sebastian tightened his grip a little and picked up the pace of his strokes. When Sebastian brushed his thumb over the slit a second time, Blaine's body arched up of its own volition as he came with a moan. In the midst of his post-orgasm haze, Blaine thought he felt Sebastian shuddering above him.

The room was silent saved for the sound of heavy breathing as they tried to catch their breaths. Finally, Sebastian leaned up to place a kiss on Blaine's lips before tugging him back in.

"Let's get out of here." Sebastian got up and pulled on his coat. Blaine's face heated up in embarrassment when he realized Sebastian was trying to cover up the cum stain. "Blaine."

"I'm sorry?"

"You need to stop apologizing." Sebastian pulled Blaine up gently. "Let's go back."

"What about them?" Blaine had anticipated that he would be expected to go back out to the hyenas and apologize for his behavior before entertaining them with tales of Dave's bloody death. The very thought made his stomach turn.

"Them?" Sebastian smiled, but it held no warmth. "They can go fuck themselves."

(TBC)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this Sunday but since I hadn't posted any other Seblaine fics this week, I'm posting this early. In the last chapter, we start to get a glimpse of the kinder and more reasonable side of Sebastian. This chapter will reveal a bit more about Sebastian's character and nature. Nonetheless, please note that there is dubcon in this chapter. If you enjoy this, please review and rec it. Also, I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks and enjoy!

Blaine pressed the "replay" button for the seventh time that day, hoping to find a missed notification from the Capitol communication center that would tell him that he had received some kind of letter from his family. His family never did move into the Victor's Village when Blaine won the Games, and Blaine had expected that any kind of communication would have to happen through the more archaic form of communication of written letters where the mails would be sent to the communication center before their intended recipient was notified. When the data came back empty again, Blaine couldn't help but feel disappointed and hurt. In spite of everything that had happened because of the Games, he had made every effort to keep in contact with his family and reach out to them whenever he could. It was nowhere as frequently as he'd like, but he put in his best effort.

Initially, Blaine thought that his family had felt distant after the Games because of all the commotion caused by the celebrations, but he wasn't so sure anymore. He had found his parents becoming less and less responsive to his calls during the past few months. It was almost as though his family didn't want to have anything to do with him.

It had been thirty weeks since Blaine survived the Hunger Games. Four weeks since Blaine had discovered that he would have to sell himself. One week since Blaine officially became Sebastian Smythe's personal whore. Blaine remembered the time in between, when his state of mind fluctuated between crippling stress and constant worry as he wondered who would be his first customer and what would become of his future; as well as his fear when they brought him to Sebastian's house. The immense dread as he awaited his fate in that living room and met Sebastian for the first time.

Blaine sat curled up on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest and letting out a long sigh. He hated it here in the Capitol. He hated its cruelty and its callousness. He hated its hypocrisy. He hated everything about this place, especially the people who put him in this situation.

The sound of a vehicle in the street below made Blaine glance out the window. It was Sunday today, which meant it was his free day. Blaine would have laughed at it if his situation wasn't so hopelessly grim. Really, only in the Capitol would classify what Blaine was doing as an actual profession.

The vehicle came to a stop outside of Blaine's residence. Like many other vehicles in the Capitol, it resembled more like a hybrid of a hovercraft than a traditional car. The one in question was one that was different from all the ones Blaine had seen thus far. It was red, compact, sporty; extravagant but classy. The door on the driver's side slid open and a pair of long legs swung out. Blaine's breathing quickened when he saw their owner step out smoothly.

Sebastian.

Dread and curiosity warred in his mind as Blaine got out of bed and headed downstairs. He was pretty sure that even if he pretended that he wasn't home and didn't open the door, Sebastian would know that it was a ruse. Day off or not, Blaine didn't have a choice.

There was no such thing as privacy or freedom for Blaine Anderson. Not anymore.

* * *

The look on Sebastian's face was amused, rather than surprised, when Blaine opened the door before he had a chance to ring the door bell.

"So eager to see me?"

"I, uh—" Blaine stuttered when Sebastian's sentence sunk in. Its implication, however untrue, made Blaine flush. "I saw you car pulling up."

"So you _are_ happy to see me then." Sebastian looked pleased. He walked past Blaine and let himself into the living room. "A little sparse, but that can easily be fixed."

Blaine trailed behind Sebastian at a distance, feeling a bit anxious to have an uninvited guest walking about his living quarters and examining everything with a fine toothcomb. It reminded him of when a safety inspector from the Capitol had conducted various tests at the lumber yard.

"The forest? Really?" Sebastian raised his eyebrows as they came before a series of glass sliding doors that decorated the side of Blaine's house. "Out of all the sceneries you could've picked, you chose the forest? It would be better to keep everything blank."

"It reminds me of home," Blaine said quietly, even though sometimes he felt that projecting images of the forest made him miss home even more.

"Let's see the back."

Puzzled, Blaine pressed the button and the scenery disappeared as the doors slid open, revealing the backyard.

"Nothing but cement." Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest, a slight look of disapproval on his face. "A waste of space. You're aware that you received one of the bigger units, right?"

"No, I—" Blaine shook his head. "I don't interact with the neighbors."

"You're probably not missing much there." Sebastian pressed the button and closed the sliding doors behind them. "Let's head upstairs."

Blaine froze at those words. He knew very well that even if he wasn't "working" today, he couldn't refuse Sebastian's advances if it came to that. He just didn't want this to happen in his living quarters, the place meant to be his sanctuary.

"Why didn't you ask for more things?" Sebastian's voice snapped Blaine out of his thoughts. He didn't realize Sebastian had let himself up the stairs.

"I—what?"

"You have three bedrooms, and only your bedroom is furnished." Sebastian gestured at the empty space. "How about a recreation room? A study? A music room? Didn't you say you play some musical instruments?"

"I haven't given it much thought." That, and Blaine didn't see the point of asking. Nothing was ever free in the Capitol, it came with a price. And Blaine had already paid enough.

"Life's too short," Sebastian started to head downstairs. He looked behind him and motioned for Blaine to follow. "We're going to do something about this."

"What?"

"But not right now." Sebastian grabbed Blaine's jacket from the coat closet and handed it to him. "Now, we're going for a little adventure."

* * *

It was a very long drive just to get out of the city center of the Capitol. No one questioned them as they went through the checkpoint, as the guards all seemed to recognize Sebastian. Sebastian waved goodbye as they drove through the turnpike.

As soon as they were beyond the city limits, Sebastian had retracted the roof of his vehicle, leaving nothing but the sky above them. It was a refreshing change for Blaine to be able to see his surroundings, out in the open, and to feel the breeze on his face and in his hair.

"This is still technically part of the Capitol," Sebastian explained. "But not many are allowed to be out here without permission."

It felt foreign here, without the gaudy city lights and eardrum-bursting music. It didn't look like Blaine's hometown, but it felt natural and beautiful. Rock cliffs, lime stones, and floras of myriad marked the terrain, it was nothing like Blaine had seen before. Without the artificial lights, Blaine could see the night sky clearly. It wasn't home, but it felt close.

Sebastian drove up a small winding path and parked his vehicle in a clearing. From where they were, they could see the ravine and the landscape below even as the sky above them began to darken.

"We're lucky it's so clear tonight." Sebastian looked up into the sky. "It's going to get completely dark in the next few minutes. We're right on schedule."

"What are we waiting for?"

"Just watch."

The sky darkened completely, leaving them in almost total darkness saved for the small light that illuminated the interior of Sebastian's car. Blaine watched the sky intently, wondering what it was that Sebastian seemed so excited about.

"And there they are."

Blaine would have missed the first meteor if it wasn't for Sebastian's comment. It started out slowly at first, with one or two meteors streaking across the sky. And then more followed, until the entire night was full of shooting stars raining down, drawing out bright streaks across the black sky like paint on canvas.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Sebastian breathed. "Make a wish, Blaine. If you wish for it hard enough, it may just come true."

Blaine stole a quick look at Sebastian and found that he had his eyes closed. Blaine couldn't help but wonder what would someone like Sebastian, who seemed to have everything in the world, wish for in this life.

Blaine leaned back in his seat and looked into the night sky. He had never seen meteor showers before. He had heard of them, read about them, and seen photos of them; but never in real life. He wondered if the meteors would be visible from District 7, and imagined his family watching them, too.

A hand on his thigh startled Blaine from his thoughts. Sebastian was leaning toward him, so close that Blaine could feel his hot breath on his neck. The hand on his thigh reached over and pressed a button. Blaine's seat lowered itself in one smooth motion, leaving him lying flat on his back.

"Do you know how beautiful you look right now?" Sebastian had managed to maneuver himself across the seats so that he was now leaning above Blaine. Even in this light, Blaine could see that his eyes were dark with lust. "You always have this effect on me."

Blaine closed his eyes as Sebastian's lips touched his. It was always the same. Sebastian would become suddenly aroused by something Blaine did or didn't do, and then he would have Blaine in any way he wanted. It had already happened thirteen times, by this point Blaine knew what to expect.

Thirteen times. Blaine had had sex thirteen times in his entire life, always with Sebastian Smythe, all within the past week, never by his own choice. Blaine wondered how many more times he would have to endure this, with Sebastian or someone else. He also wondered when he would finally lose count and accept himself for what he was.

Blaine lay there as Sebastian removed his clothes, and then watched silently as Sebastian removed his own. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes as Sebastian mapped out every part of his body with kisses and feather light touches. Blaine had gotten into the habit of drifting while this happened, to shut out as much of it as possible. He let out a small hiss when Sebastian slipped one well-lubed finger inside, the intrusion invading his private head space.

"You have to ease up."

Blaine slowly breathed in and out, willing himself to relax. He knew by now that the more tense he was, the more it would hurt later. But it was so hard, because no matter how much Blaine wanted to pretend, deep down he knew that none of this was real, a mockery of what love was, a mockery of what Blaine could've had if there were no Hunger Games.

Blaine let out a small moan when Sebastian's fingers brushed against his prostate. His head fell back against the headrest and his fingers gripped onto the side of the car tightly as he tried to stifle the sounds that were threatening to spill from his lips. He couldn't allow himself to enjoy this, it would be inexcusable.

He bit down hard on his lower lip when Sebastian entered him. It always hurt at first, although nowadays it didn't hurt nearly as much as the first few times. Blaine wondered if that was what it meant to be well-used, and whether this was how it felt to be a tramp, a harlot, or whatever awful names people like him were labeled.

The small space in the vehicle meant that Sebastian's movements were more restricted. He hiked Blaine's legs up and hooked them over his shoulders as he tried to get more leverage. Blaine let out a gasp when Sebastian's next thrust sent a wave of pleasure through him, intensified by the new position. This was the part that he hated most, when his body started to take control. Every time that Sebastian pushed into him and hit at just the right angle, Blaine's body would become more aroused, building into an orgasm that he didn't want.

Sebastian leaned in closer so that they were almost skin to skin. Blaine could hear Sebastian's harsh breathing against his own as Sebastian picked up his pace, thrusting harder and deeper. There were kisses on his throat and words of praise muttered against his ear, but Blaine didn't believe any of it. How could someone like him be deserving of any praise or affection?

Sebastian's face was buried in the crook of Blaine's neck as he moved in and out of him, brushing against that spot inside of Blaine every now and then and drawing shuddered gasps out of him. In an effort to detach himself, Blaine stared past Sebastian's shoulder and into the night sky above as his body was jerked by the force of the thrusts.

 _One, two, five, ten, twenty…_ He started to count the number of meteors that were falling through the sky, making a wish for each of the fallen.

Try as Blaine might, it was difficult to ignore that dreaded yet familiar feeling of an impending climax. He kept his eyes open even as he felt himself getting close. He kept counting even as Sebastian's thrusts became more frantic. When Sebastian brushed against his prostate one more time, Blaine came, the shooting stars in his vision merged together like an exploding supernova. Sebastian came shortly after him, shuddering as he spilled himself inside of Blaine.

Sebastian laid on top of him afterwards as they both tried to catch their breaths. The meteor shower had subsided by now, with only a handful of shooting stars falling through the sky sporadically. Blaine grimaced when Sebastian pulled out of him and dropped his legs down from their jackknifed position. He hadn't expected his body to feel this sore.

Sebastian reached into one of the compartment and pulled out several wet wipes. Blaine watched on as Sebastian cleaned them up gently. It was in moment like this one that Blaine longed for normalcy in his life. He would give almost everything to be able to share this moment with someone he truly loved, and not someone who had bought him.

A stinging pain brought Blaine back to reality as Sebastian passed the wipe between his buttocks, and he hissed at the sensation. His entrance felt raw and sensitive. Sebastian finished cleaning Blaine up and gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. The gesture was so unnaturally loving that it made Blaine want to turn his head away.

"Did you make any wishes?" Sebastian looked as though he genuinely wanted to know. "Don't tell me what it is, or else it won't come true."

Blaine found it unbelievable that someone like Sebastian would actually believe in such things, although he had made many wishes of his own during the shower.

"Oh, I almost forgot about this." Sebastian reached over to the backseat and grabbed an envelope. "I was going to give it to you when I came into the house, but I was thoroughly distracted by how tasty you looked standing by the door." He gave Blaine a wolfish grin and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" Fighting hard to keep the blush from creeping up his face, Blaine took the envelope when Sebastian handed it to him.

"Open it."

From the way the envelope felt in his hands, Blaine guessed that it was a card of some kind. Puzzled, he reached in and pulled out the item. His breath caught when he realized what it was.

"Apparently, two weeks was the maximum they're willing to give any victors staying in the Capitol."

"But—but this says three weeks?" Blaine couldn't believe his eyes.

"I had to make some threats, throw my weigh around a bit." Sebastian looked pleased with himself. "Besides, no one can resist my charms."

"So you mean—you mean …" Blaine found himself at a loss for words as he became inundated with emotion.

"It's your ticket home." Sebastian brushed away a loose curl from Blaine's forehead. "You get to go home tomorrow night."

"Thank you. Thank you." Blaine wasn't sure how many times he said those words, but he must have started crying at some point because suddenly he was in Sebastian's arms, being calmed with tender words and kisses.

Perhaps there was some merit to wishing upon shooting stars, because one of his wishes had just come true.

(TBC)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. In the next chapter, Blaine finally gets to go home but things did not quite go the way he expected. If you like this chapter, please review and rec it. Also, for updates of my other Seblaine WIPs (including this one), please follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos. This is what I'd call a bridging chapter that will set the tone for the next chapter so it's an important catalyst (and Cooper makes an appearance!). I promise you that there will definitely be drama in Chapter 7 as this chapter is the calm before the storm. If you enjoy this, please rec and review it. Also, I have a tumblr at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com", I'd be honored if you can follow me there as I also post art and news updates on my other Seblaine work there. Thanks.

Blaine Anderson used to dread trains rides. There were too many bad memories associated with them. While he might not have ridden the train many times in his life, the fact that most of the occasions had something to do with the Games had spoilt the experience for him. But this time, it was different.

He was going _home._

Home. The word created a warmth to his heart that he hadn't felt in a long time. Of course, Blaine had spent a few months at home after the Games had concluded, before he had to go on the dreaded tour. Yet the time spent during those months was different; it couldn't really be counted as time spent with his family. There was too much attention from the media all the time, even the people in District 7 were constantly crowding around their house, hoping to catch a glimpse of the newest victor. Blaine had never saw pride in the eyes that watched him as he moved through the town. Not that it was something he believed that should be there, no, Blaine had not earned such a thing as that from his actions, but he longed for something other than the emptiness that stared out at him. Did he want condemnation? Anger? Maybe. Anything other than resignation. Anything other than seeing the thoughts of; _next reaping maybe my son, next reaping maybe my daugher, next reaping maybe their life's blood dripping from another's childs hands._

But this time, it would be different. Things had since then calmed down, and the people of District 7 had since then gone back to their daily lives. The thought of going back to the house that he had grown up in, to be able to take a walk in the nearby woods again, to have privacy and his own space, were almost enough to make him forget about what had transpired in the past six months.

_Almost._

Rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand, Blaine evicted The Capitol from his mind. The next three weeks belonged to Blaine Anderson and his family, and nothing was going to ruin this for him.

Eyes to the window, watched as the sun rose above the horizon kissing the ground in her wake. Although he took the night train, Blaine had found it difficult to sleep amidst the excitement. Being able to go home and do as he pleased during his stay were the best things to have ever happened to him in six months. He watched with quiet excitement as trees and sceneries sped past in a blur of color and shape, marveling at the sight before him. The last several times Blaine was on the train, he had been too worried and stressed to appreciate what the scenery had to offer. Now that he could actually relax, no matter how briefly, Blaine found that in spite of the suffering and oppression that the Districts had to endure, there was still beauty in this world.

Blaine felt a smile spread across his face as trees started to line the railroad track. Blaine knew that with each tree that passed him by, he was one step closer to District 7.

He didn't even have to listen to the announcement on the speakers to know that the train station was fast approaching. He could feel the forest in his heart, before he even saw it. As the tree line appeared in view, Blaine wasted no time in grabbing his trunks and luggages and dragging them to the door.

Blaine Anderson was finally home.

* * *

It wasn't until Blaine was almost home, shoulders aching from the strain of his luggage that he realized that no matter how hard he tried to push the thought of Capitol from his mind, he could never truly escape it. As he paid the wagon driver for driving him part of the way, Blaine knew that this was something he would never be able to afford had he not won the Hunger Games.

 _You mean had you not whored yourself out._ The little voice in the back of his head clarified.

District 7 was still as he had remembered. The District was poor, but it was not the poorest. Aside from the horror of the Games that seemed to hang above the District like a perpetual dark cloud, District 7 had managed to make the most of what it had. Its lush forest had made business and livelihood sustainable for most of its inhabitants. The forest was life itself.

Blaine came to a halt as he saw his house coming into view, atop of the hill. It was one of the more impressive houses of District 7, in that age had not damaged it so very much as the rest, and it stood taller than the others. When Blaine was a child he thought how like his mother the house seemed. Proud, elegant in the face of it all, outspoken. _Intimidating._ Blaine had initially found it surprising that his family had declined the offer of moving into the Victor's Village, but it made sense when Blaine thought more about it. After all, his family had been living in this house for centuries, and Blaine knew that his parents were the sentimental kind. Well, when it came to everything expect their second born, anyway. It didn't matter at the end, since Blaine ended up moving to the Capitol after the tour.

Even from a distance, it would appear that things had vastly improved since the last time he had been home. The front yard had been properly landscaped and it looked like their fence had been replaced as well. Blaine knew that he should be glad that the money that was being wired home was helping his family out, but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to feel anything beyond shame.

With a deep breath, Blaine started to climb the hill.

It had taken him several trips up and down the hill to move everything. Reaching the door, chest burning a little, Blaine found strange that he would have to ring to get in, but he wanted this to be a surprise. Opening the door by himself would certainly ruin it. Taking a deep breath, he pulled down on the string by the door, hearing the bell inside spring to life.

Footsteps approached and Blaine felt the thrill of excitement in the pit of his belly, laced by nerves. When had he last felt like this? He couldn't even remember. Fumbling sounds followed, as the lock was eased out of place before the door opened and revealed to Blaine the last person he expected to see.

"Oh my God, Blaine!"

Before he even had a chance to react, Blaine had found himself an armful of his brother. Cooper was hugging him so tightly that it actually hard to breath. Laughing softly, Blaine brought his arms up and embraced his brother back.

"Long time no see, Big Brother." Somehow, saying those words made everything seemed more real. He really was home.

"Let me take a good look at you." Cooper released his hold on Blaine and took a step back, eyeing his brother up and down. "I'd say that living in the Capitol has done you some good."

The mentioning of life in the Capitol made Blaine's chest clench painfully. He was relieved that his family had no idea what kind of person their youngest member had become.

"Well, let's get your stuff inside." Cooper seemed to have noticed Blaine's belonging for the first time. "Jesus, did you decide to move the whole house?"

"Oh, I—I brought you guys things from the Capitol." Blaine pulled his luggage into the house. "I got something for everyone."

"You know you don't have to do that." Cooper frowned down at the case, perhaps wondering at its weight. "Things have been better for us lately, first- well, _you-_ and some Capital contract is buying up lumbar faster than we can cut it down. Well, not _me_ obviously. Axe handles are terrible for the skin, you know."

"Really? That's great." It was good to be able to talk about everyday things again.

"Yeah, apparently it's some legendary big-shot called Sebastian Smith? Smythe? Whatever." Cooper set the trunk down in the living room. "I heard from our parents that he's some kind of multi-talented child prodigy with influence in the Capitol. Rich family with their fingers in many different pies."

It was almost as though Blaine's world had grounded to a halt at the mention of Sebastian's name. Sebastian was a customer of his family's? It seemed odd, Blaine thought it was the Capitol government that bought the trade. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Blaine wondered about the extent of control that Sebastian exerted over everything. How high up was Sebastian exactly?

"Blaine. Hey, Earth to Blaine!" Cooper waved his hand in front of Blaine's face.

"Sor-sorry! What was that?"

"I said, where do you want me to put your stuff?"

"That one's for you guys, living room's fine. Thanks, Coop." Blaine tried to force out a smile. He could do this. If he needed to pretend that everything was okay, he would do it.

"Are you okay?" There was concern written all over Cooper's face. "You're looking a little pale."

"I'm fine. Just tired, didn't sleep much on the train."

"You crazy kid." Cooper threw his arm over Blaine's shoulder. "You should probably get some sleep. Our parents won't be back till tomorrow anyway."

"Where did they go?" Blaine couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Despite it all, he still wanted to see them. To have them near.

"They um … " For a fleeting moment, Blaine could see the discomfort in Cooper's body language, but it was gone as soon as he saw it. "Scouting for new ground. Mother is wanting to expand the factory. The Capitol really have their eyes on us at the moment, and it would do us well to rise to the challenge. The reward from the Games had been helpful, but it was the additional money you've been wiring us these last six months that actually allow us to put it to use on construction."

"Past six months?" Blaine echoed. It didn't add up. He had only been with Sebastian for a little over a week, and the amount Cooper implied seemed a lot higher than what was agreed with Sebastian.

"Yeah. Mother and father never told you, but things were really not well for a while. Before the Games, I mean. We were struggling. I couldn't even afford a ring, it was a bit embarrassing considering we were supposed to be much better off than most." Cooper continued talking as they ascended the steps to Blaine's room. "You really saved us, Blaine. I mean, even though we didn't move to the Victor's Village, things are still much better around here now. You saw the new paint job, right? Someone from the Capitol came by the other day to fix things up."

"I did. It's nice." In the midst of all the excitement associated with seeing his brother again, Blaine had completely forgotten about Cooper's wedding. A quick glance at Cooper's hand showed that there was no ring. "Did I miss the wedding or—"

Blaine regretted those words when he felt Cooper tensing.

"We called it off." Cooper shrugged, his voice a bit gruff. "It—it didn't work out."

"I'm really sorry, Coop." Blaine couldn't help but feel a little curious about the turn of events. He knew that Cooper and his ex-girlfriend had been dating since they were young, it all seemed rather sudden.

"Don't be." Cooper gave Blaine a grin. "Now that the Capitol is interested in us, I'm sure our parents wouldn't mind some extra help around here."

"I'm glad the money's helpful."

They got to the top of the stairs and stopped in front of Blaine's room. It seemed silly to feel nervous about walking into his own room, but even now Blaine was still afraid that this was all part of a dream; that at any given moment he might wake up and find himself back in the Capitol.

"We left it the way it is." Cooper opened the door. "I've—I mean we've all expected you to come back at some point."

It was like a walk down the memory lane as Blaine took in his room. Everything had remained the same, ranging from his favorite bedspread hand-made by his grandmother, his desk and chair, to the stuffed bear that his brother gave him for his ninth birthday, still missing its right eye from one childhood scrape or another. It was almost as though Blaine never left.

It was almost as though the Hunger Games never happened.

"I'll bring up your stuff later." Cooper opened the curtains and let the light in. "So, how come you didn't tell us you're coming home?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." Blaine sat down on the bed. It was creaky, old and too soft to be comfortable, but it was his own.

"Well, I'm happy you're home. And Blaine, I- " Cooper sat down next to him. Blaine looked up when he felt his brother's eyes on him. "Look, no matter what's happened or what happens in the future, I'm always proud of you."

The words sounded strange to Blaine's ears, and a trickle of unease trickled against the nape of Blaine's neck. _Something's not right._ He pushed the discomfort away and tried to ignore the crest of questions rising in his mind. There would be time for that. There was nothing to be nervous about, this was his big brother, this was his room. This was his home. This was the place he was safe. This was not The Capitol.

This was not the arena.

"Thanks Coop," Blaine said instead, plastering a false smile on his face that was so wide he could feel the burn in his cheeks. "That means a lot to me."

"Well, I better let you rest." Seemingly satisfied with Blaine's answer, Cooper got up and walked to the door. "I'll bring up the rest of your stuff later."

"Okay." Blaine got in under the covers and closed his eyes as he felt the fatigue setting in.

"And Blaine?"

"Hm?" Blaine opened his eyes at Cooper's voice. His brother had his hand on the door knob as he started to close the door behind him.

"Are you happy right now? In the Capitol, I mean. Do they treat you well?" The concern and worry that were written in his brother's face almost made Blaine wanted to cry.

"Yes." Blaine lied. "Yes, to both."

"I'm glad." Reflief flooded across Cooper's ridiculously handsome features. "After all you've done, no one else deserves it more than you."

Somewhere deep down, Blaine couldn't help but think that his brother was right; that he deserved the humiliation and violation that he had to endure on an almost daily basis. Ultimately, it was Blaine Anderson's punishment for losing his humanity.

(TBC)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. As mentioned, this is the calm before the storm. In the next chapter, Blaine finally connected with his parents and friends and things didn't quite turnd out as planned.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind comments. I'm sorry this took longer to update but my work has been killing me and I was in an accident recently so there just hasn't been time to do much fic-wise. As a recap of last chapter, Blaine had just come home and the Anderbros had their bonding moments. In this chapter, Blaine finally saw his parents again, but the meeting might not turn out the way he had anticipated. If you like this chapter, please rec and review it. Also, I have a tumblr where I post fanart and drabbles of Seblaine that are not posted here. I'd be really honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks.

Growing up, Blaine had always had a love for nature. The greenery, the lush trees, the fresh smell of dew and pine cones and the melodious chirp of the birds; all served to have a calming effect on him. On his bad days, Blaine found that taking a stroll in the nearby woods always did the trick of calming him down.

The forest was his refuge.

"Blaine, have you heard a thing I said?"

"What? Of course- uh- you said the food supplies that the District's been getting from the Capitol had been great in variety." Blaine waved a hand at Jeff, hoping that his deception wasn't too obvious.

"That was _fifteen_ minutes ago." Jeff peered at him, his expression one of concern. "You have been elsewhere this whole time."

"Sorry, I guess I'm just tired. That's all." It was a weak excuse, but one that would usually get people to back off. However, Jeff wasn't most people.

"Something's been bothering you." Jeff stopped in his tracks, placing his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I'm fine." Blaine forced out a smile. If there was anything he had learned about the Capitol during the time that he had spent there, it was the fact that things were always monitored. The forest was probably as safe as it was going to get for any honest conversations. But even then, his problems were not the kind that he could freely share with anyone. "It's just surreal to come home."

"I'll bet!" Jeff nodded. "Tell me about the Capitol. Do the people really dye their skin? I heard that your stylist had feathers instead of hair on their body, is that true? What about the parties? Are they as wild as they say."

"It's—" Blaine paused as he tried to push the unpleasant memories away and only focus on the few positive attributes of the Capitol, Jeff always had held more of a fascination than distaste for The Capital. "It's different. Colorful, metallic, and extravagant."

"Those are just words, Blaine." Jeff threw up his hands, looking a bit bewildered. "Descriptions! I want to know the details."

"Well, it's just—it's hard to describe. Everything's big there, and even the people are colorful." Blaine stole a look at his friend, who was listening with rapt attention. "They have these machines that can churn out the most extravagant food in seconds and buildings made of steel and light up at night."

"Oh, wow!" Jeff gaped. "You know what? I'm glad you're staying there. You really deserve the good life after all that you have had to go through."

Even though he was miles away from the Capitol, it seemed that Blaine could never truly escape the one thing he wanted to run away from. The very thought itself made his heart pang uncomfortably.

"Thanks, I guess." Blaine mumbled.

"Hey, look." Jeff had his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Forget about what people say. I'm glad you made it out and if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be getting so much food this year."

This was the second time someone had implied something negative about Blaine's victory. First Cooper, and now Jeff. Blaine knew something was amiss the moment he came back. People seemed distant, and even his friends had been avoiding him, citing some sort of excuse. Jeff had been the only one who wanted to catch up.

"What are people saying exactly?"

"Nothing, really." Jeff kicked at the small rocks uncomfortably. "I mean, the Games is never pleasant. You know how people are weird about it."

"No, I don't." Blaine hated to put Jeff on the spot, but he would really rather everything was laid out in the open. Out of all the places where Blaine had to play the guessing games, he certainly did not expect his own home District to be one of them. "All I know is that it seems that everyone is really busy to spare me even five minutes. What gives, Jeff?"

The question came out harsher than Blaine intended. Immediately, he felt bad for taking out his frustrations on his friend. But he had been home for over one week, and he still had yet to see his parents, who kept extending their business trip.

"Forget it, Blaine. It's not worth it." There was a pleading look in Jeff's eyes, and a hint of fear. "Ask your family, someone close to you whom you can trust and will tell you as it is."

"Fine." Blaine sighed. This was not how he imagined his trip home to be like. While it was nice to have his own privacy again, he felt like a stranger in his home. "Let's change the topic then."

"All right." Jeff seemed relieved. They resumed walking and came across a clearing. They found a patch of clean dry grass and sat down, enjoying the warm afternoon sun. "So, did you meet any cute guys while you're in the Capitol?"

Blaine could feel his entire body tensing up at the question before he could stop himself. It was almost a reflex these days, that the very thought of what he had to endure would prompt such an involuntary physical reaction. He willed himself to relax and stay calm, reminding himself that no one knew about what had transpired between him and Sebastian.

"No, not really." Blaine hoped that the smile he had on his face was convincing enough.

"Are you sure about that?" There was a mischievous glint in Jeff's eyes. "Because something tells me you're not telling everything."

"Wh—what are you talking about?" There was a familiar heat that was creeping its way up his neck. Blaine hated how his complexion would give away his blush so easily.

"You're blushing!" Jeff pointed out. "Actually, you have a hickey on your neck."

"What?" Blaine's hand flew to his neck, wondering where the offensive mark was.

"It's near the base of your neck. You only see it when the shirt moves." Jeff bumped Blaine's shoulder playfully. "I wouldn't worry about it though, it's almost faded. Your secret's safe with me."

"Please don't tell anyone about this." Blaine tried to sound genuinely embarrassed rather than distressed. He was relieved when Jeff didn't seem to notice.

"Of course!" Jeff had a large grin on his face. "I'm really happy for you, you know that? I'm so glad that you found someone after all this."

"Thanks, Jeff."

It was the only thing Blaine could say.

* * *

It was almost dinner time when Blaine got home. He felt his heart speed up in excitement at the lights that were coming out from the first floor. During the past week, the only light he could see was from Cooper's room. But tonight, the entire house seemed lit up, and that only meant one thing.

His parents were home.

Blaine picked up his pace and broke into a small run, eager to greet his parents. He went by the side door, where he knew would be left unlocked. Opening the door quietly so as not to make a sound, Blaine inched his way toward the kitchen, where he could hear voices.

"But mother—" Cooper sounded like he was arguing something.

"We can't have him in our home! Not anymore." His mother sounded agitated.

"But it's Blaine! He saved my life. He volunteered on my behalf!" Blaine could see Cooper standing near the kitchen counter, his face flushed with frustration. "Father! Please say something!"

"You heard your mother." For as long as Blaine could remember, his father had always played the mediator in any family arguments.

"I don't understand." Cooper shook his head, disappointment evident in his face. "It's still Blaine. He hasn't changed. He's been here this whole week and he's the same boy who left the house months ago."

"The Blaine that we knew is dead." It felt as though someone had punched Blaine in the gut. It was one thing to be ignored or deemed not good enough, but to be considered dead was an entirely different level of hurt. "He died the moment he killed that boy from District 1."

"Mother, you know he _had_ to." Cooper's lips were pressed in a thin line, his fists clenched tight. It was something that Blaine remembered his brother would do when he tried to keep his anger in check. "And if it wasn't for Blaine, the government wouldn't give us the business and the District wouldn't have gotten all the food."

Blaine moved to the doorway quietly. He could now see both of his parents. His father had his hand on his mother's shoulder in a comforting gesture, while his mother's face was that of anger and hurt.

"Have you forgotten what we have to face when Blaine's gone?" His mother continued. "All those looks from the neighbors. They don't say it but I know what they're thinking. The Anderson boy's a killer. Now they're part of the Capitol, enjoying the riches from killing innocent children."

"Father!" Cooper looked at his father pleadingly.

"You know your mother's right." His father sighed.

"And haven't you forgotten what happened with your engagement?" His mother demanded. "She was a nice girl, Cooper. If it wasn't for Blaine—"

"What did happen to the engagement?" Blaine was surprised by the calmness in his own voice, even though he knew he must be shaking right now.

"Blaine!" Cooper started toward him. "Have you—how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." Blaine tried to keep his breath steady. He knew he was never the favorite son, but to be called a killer by his own parents was simply too much. "What happened to the engagement, Cooper?"

"It's not important, Blaine. Why don't we—"

"The girl's family called it off, son." His father spoke up.

"They don't want their daughter to be associated with a killer." The tone in his mother's voice was sharp and harsh. It cut into Blaine like a dagger into the flesh. "You! Because of you, Cooper lost his chance in happiness!"

"Mother!"

"Is that true, Cooper?" Blaine felt a lump forming in his throat and he swallowed it away. "Is that true?"

"It's no big deal." Cooper forced out a smile and tried to reassure him by putting his hand on Blaine's arm.

"Nobody wants to be associated with the Anderson name because of you." His mother's voice rang out from Blaine's left. "We might not have been swimming in riches, but at least we were honorable. We have survived for generations in honesty, and now you've brought blood upon our house."

"Mother! How could you say that? Blaine's your son!"

"Cooper, don't you speak to your mother like that." His father stepped in, his posture stiff and his face grim. For the first time tonight, Blaine had a chance to get a closer look at his father. The quiet man who had been the silent supporter of this family looked tired and aged from stress. His face was gaunt and there were lines around his eyes that Blaine didn't remember seeing before he left for the Capitol.

"I—" This was worse than being in the Games. At least in the Games Blaine held no feelings toward anyone, but this was his mother, whom he loved and admired all these years.

"We don't want your money." His mother pulled out a satchel from under the kitchen sink and threw it at Blaine's feet. "Take your blood money with you and go back to Capitol. We don't house murderers here."

A choked gasp made its way out of Blaine's lips before he had a chance to stop it. His vision suddenly started to shift in and out of focus. There was a stinging sensation in the back of his eyes and the lump in his throat was back. He could feel his breath quickening before it turned into labored gasps. It was as though Blaine was losing motor control of his body and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Instead of responding to his mother, Blaine kept his eyes on the floor as he turned around and ran up to his room, slamming the door behind him before throwing himself onto the bed. He didn't even realize he was crying until he started feeling the wetness that was soaking through the pillow case. Dimly, he could hear arguing downstairs and Blaine didn't bother tuning it out because he deserved to hear every abusive and hurtful word that was being thrown at him.

After all, his mother was right. He was a murderer; the blood was on his hands.

(TBC)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took longer to update. Real life, work, and bad internet connection all tend to happen at once but alas, chapter 8. I hope you guys are still following this. As a recap of last chapter, Blaine's trip home turned out horribly wrong when his own parents disowned him. In this chapter, Blaine returned to the Capitol and was unprepared for what he encountered. If you enjoy this, please rec and review it. Also, I have a Tumblr where I post updates on my Seblaine WIPs as well as Seblaine drabbles / fan arts that are not posted here. I'd be honored if you can follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks!

There seemed to be so many things Blaine wanted to take with him. He probably wouldn't need any of them in the Capitol, but he wanted to bring everything. This room was his sanctuary, this was the place that he had slept in since he was a child, the only place that Blaine had ever felt safe. Everything in the room had a story behind it and a happy memory that reminded Blaine of times when things were simple.

Blaine looked at the old text books that were on his book shelf and took them down one by one. He hadn't been in school ever since the Games, but he had every intention of learning everything he could. He looked forward to the day when he would be old enough to lose everyone's interest so that he could put what he learned into good use. Blaine wasn't sure how that would really work in the Capitol, but he was sure he could figure something out, somehow.

He had to. Because going forward, the Capitol would be his home.

"Do you need any help?" Cooper was standing by the door, looking awkward as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"No, I'm fine." Actually, he did need help. There were so many things Blaine needed to put away, but after the revelation about what happened with Cooper's engagement, it just didn't feel right to impose on his older brother any further.

"Blainey, you know they didn't mean it, right?" Cooper sat down on the bed and tried to get Blaine's attention. "Things had been stressful for them now that there was all this demand from the Capitol."

"It's okay, Cooper." Blaine tried to sound neutral. "I don't blame them. I'd hate me too. After all, I did—"

"Don't say that!" Cooper interrupted. "You haven't done anything wrong. You did what you had to. If it had been me, I—I wouldn't have been so honorable."

"You don't know that, Cooper." Blaine continued packing. "I cost you your happiness, that's unforgiveable."

"Listen, Blaine. You have cost me _nothing_. There's nothing you can do to change what's happened. " Cooper gripped Blaine's wrist gently and shook his head. "When I said I was proud of you, I meant it. You're more courageous and honorable than anyone that I've known. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And that includes our parents."

Cooper's were bright with what appeared to be unshed tears. He looked determinedly resolute about what he had just said. But Blaine knew that regardless of what Cooper believed, at the end of the day, it was Blaine's involvement in the Hunger Games that brought all the distress upon his family.

"Thanks, Coop." Blaine forced out a smile that he hoped was convincing enough. "I really appreciate it."

"Are you sure you don't need my help with this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Blaine put a hand up when Cooper was about to say something. "I mean it. As long as you accompany me to the train station, I'll be fine."

"All right."

* * *

It felt rather surreal to be on the train again. One and a half week. Blaine had only been home for one and a half week before he was told to leave and implied to never return. It had hurt more than anything in the world to hear those words from the people he cared for and loved the most.

He tried to get some rest of on the train, but every time Blaine closed his eyes, he would see his parents' disappointed faces. He was physically exhausted, but with his mind racing with so many thoughts, there was no way Blaine could've fallen asleep.

So instead, he settled for watching the scenery pass by.

With each District the train passed through, Blaine was that much closer to the Capitol. This trip had a sense of finality to it, because in a way, the Capitol was Blaine's final destination. There was no home for him to go back to, certainly not his family's.

Capitol was his home now.

Blaine turned his face away from the window and eyed the relatively empty train. There was nothing he could do at this point. This was going to be Blaine Anderson's life. He could either continue to fight it and be miserable, or he could try to make the best of it and prepare himself for the day when he could truly do things on his own.

Even if that day might be decades from now.

As the train went through the final tunnel that would lead its passengers into the Capitol, Blaine decided that in spite of what little control he might have over his life, he would not give up. He might be free from the Hunger Games, but living in the Capitol was a whole different game of its own.

And Blaine was going to do everything he could to win this game as well.

The ride from the train station to his residence in the Capitol seemed to drag on forever. Blaine just wanted to bring his belongings into the unit and put everything in its proper place. He was determined to convert the two spare bedrooms into something that resembled his home in District 7. If he couldn't go home again, then at least there would be something in the Capitol that could hopefully help curb the homesickness.

As Blaine finished moving the trunks into the unit, he noticed sounds of commotions coming from his backyard. Puzzled, he went to the living room and pressed the switch that would automatically open the curtain and the door to the backyard.

Blaine was definitely not prepared for what he was about to see.

There were people and machineries crowding about in the back. It was evident that they were in the midst of a massive construction. But what Blaine hadn't expected to see was what they were constructing.

A forest. One that closely resembled District 7 but much smaller in size.

"You're back early." A familiar voice sounded to Blaine's right as he felt an arm wrapping itself around his waist. "This was supposed to be a surprise. A present, actually."

"This, the forest?" It was definitely a forest. Dimly, Blaine wondered how they had managed to convert such a small space into something believable.

"I have access to the backyard, but not the inside unit." Sebastian seemed pleased with himself. "Do you like it? I designed it actually. Everything was imported directly from your home District."

"I—I, well yes. Yes, I do." Blaine wasn't sure whether it was his fatigue or the conflicting emotions that he was currently experiencing that hindered his ability to speak. In spite of his experience in interacting with Sebastian, Blaine had to admit that this was a kind gesture.

"Speechless? Good!" Sebastian took Blaine's hand and led him into the constructed area. "The backyard is spacious enough to allow for several big trees. I had to use some hologram to create the illusion of spaciousness. And that stream over there? Touch it."

"What?" Surely Sebastian didn't install an actual water source into the backyard. Tentatively, Blaine reached out and touched the flowing stream. He felt the cool, welcoming wetness of the water washing over his hand. "It's real."

"Of course, it is." Sebastian gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I didn't know you were coming back early. Had I known you were coming back today, I would've sent someone to pick you up."

One of the workers came by with questions for Sebastian. While the two were engaged in what appeared to be a discussion on how to finish landscaping the backyard, Blaine couldn't help but feel curious about Sebastian.

"I swear, people don't know how to follow instructions these days." Sebastian looked agitated as he grabbed Blaine's hand again and led him back into the residence. "Come on, let's head back in. The forest won't be done till later today."

Blaine let himself to be led into the residence, the fatigue finally hitting him as he sat down on the sofa and rubbed his eyes. He looked up when he felt Sebastian watching him.

"All these from home?" Sebastian gestured at the trunks that were still by the door. Their presence immediately reminded Blaine of what had happened with his family.

"Yeah." Blaine hoped that Sebastian wouldn't ask any further. He wasn't sure if he was ready to discuss the reason for his early return yet.

"Do you need help unpacking?" In spite of his question, Sebastian had started to push some of the trunks into the living room.

"Wait. Let me do it." Blaine dragged his tired body up from the sofa and opened the first trunk.

"Are those text books?" Blaine had expected to hear fascination and intrigue behind that question, considering all books in the Capitol were probably electronic, but Sebastian sounded more surprised than anything.

"Yes. I want to continue to learn, maybe I can put it to use when I'm older." Blaine didn't want to meet Sebastian's eyes. He didn't want to invite more questions. He heard the sound of pages being flipped and looked up in curiosity.

"I can teach you." Sebastian held up the text book. "I can get you a tablet, miniature computer. It can store all the books on there."

"But I want to keep them." The thought of throwing away his connection to his home was horrifying.

"I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying it's more portable and manageable if you get the electronic version." Sebastian started putting the books in a neat stack. "It's your things, you can do whatever you want with them."

"I'll go move the rest of the trunks."

"You look like you're about to fall over." Sebastian gave him a dismissive wave. "I'm not weak, you know."

"I'm not saying you're weak." Blaine wondered if he had managed to fall asleep on the train and that this was all some kind of a strange dream, because not only was Sebastian not demanding sex from him, he was trying to help. "I just—I mean, why?"

"Why what?" Sebastian stopped what he was doing and met Blaine's gaze.

"Why are you offering to help me with all these?" Blaine knew Sebastian didn't have to do anything for him. No one had to do anything for Blaine. While it wasn't the first time Sebastian seemed to have gone out of his way to help, Blaine couldn't help but find it bewildering. "The backyard, the trip home, everything."

Someone who bought him for sex wasn't supposed to be kind. Everything about Sebastian so far seemed to contradict in so many ways.

Sebastian didn't answer right away. He appeared deep in thought as he mauled over the question before finally answering.

"I know how hard it is to be away from home." There was no mockery or patronization in those eyes. Sebastian actually looked sympathetic. Blaine wanted to ask Sebastian what he meant by that, given that Sebastian was from the Capitol, but something told him today was not the day.

"Well um—" Blaine cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm really thankful for everything. I know you didn't have to."

He was expecting Sebastian to say something suggestive, or even do something, but instead he heard the sound of things being shuffled about in the trunk as Sebastian removed more contents.

"There're a lot of things in here." Sebastian sat back on his heels and looked at Blaine. "Why don't we unpack together?"

It was an odd suggestion especially coming from someone like Sebastian Smythe, but there was something comforting about the idea.

"Okay." Blaine nodded and kneeled down next to Sebastian as they sort out its contents.

It wasn't until later that night that it occurred to Blaine that this was the first time that they had spent time together without any physical intimacy or awkwardness. And to Blaine's surprise, he found that in spite of how upset and tired he was about what happened at home, spending the afternoon with Sebastian had actually made him feel better.

Blaine knew that this sense of comfort probably wouldn't last long, but for now, he would savor it while it lasted.

(TBC)

**Author's Note:**

> The fic is still work in progress, but I do intend on finishing this as I already have the entire story plotted out. If you like this fic, please rec and review it. Also, I have a Tumblr and I'd be honored if you can follow me at rykerstrom.tumblr.com. Thank you!


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